Lincoln in Comics Part II

Scooby Doo #2, Marvel Comics Nov 1977
Scooby Doo meets Lincoln

Unknown Artist/ Writer

Lincoln runs for governor, is exposed by Scooby Doo.

http://marvel.wikia.com/Scooby_Doo_Vol_1_2

Abraham Lincoln has returned from the dead and has returned as a ghost. The first thing he decides to do is run for governor of Scooby’s homes state. I don’t know which is more astounding, the fact that Lincoln has returned from the grave, or that a Great Dane can not only talk, but solve mysteries.





Fred decides the best way to get to the bottom of this is to dress as a garbage man with a bow tie and cat whiskers, and find out what the people are saying about Lincoln on the zombie ticket. It beats the hell out of those annoying calls from poll workers at dinner time I guess.



The gang then finds a book about the real Lincoln, and decide the imposter must have studied it too, because how else would he know about such an obscure figure from history like Lincoln?



It turns out this Lincoln was a phony after all, but I don’t think leashing a Great Dane to a skinny stand up lamp would do much good. At least you won’t be in the dark when it bites your face off.

 

 

Lincoln in Comics Part 1

Long before the films Abraham Lincoln VS the Zombies and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, Lincoln was arm wrestling deadly scalp hunters, traveling through time, and having his consciousness deposited in an android from the future.

1) The Unexpected 217, DC Comics, Dec 1981

Lincoln outsmarts aliens in the future.
Sheldon Mayer Writer/Artist Ernie Colon cover Artist

Here we have an alive Lincoln in an astronaut suit sitting in his memorial. If you are wondering what he is doing, by the look on his face I would say he is either about to blast off into space, or he is taking a dump. I do believe astronauts wear adult diapers, so maybe he is doing both.
Don’t worry, it really doesn’t have anything to do with the story. Yes, the story of an astronaut Lincoln would be pretty cool, but a time traveling Lincoln saving the Earth from aliens is about ten times cooler.

First, Abe finds himself standing outside Ford theatre, only it’s 400 years after his death. He almost gets hit by a hover car.

In the most ill placed instance of road rage in the history of comics, a bitchy woman gets out of her car and chastises Lincoln for standing in a hover zone. She recognizes Lincoln from history, so what does she do next? She accuses him of being an alien spy of course! It’s probably what I would have done as well. Only Lincoln disappears and shows up in a tube in the next panel.

So, Lincoln showed up in a strange place, almost got hit by a car, which is something that didn’t exist in his time, and now finds himself talking to strangely dressed scientists. So what do these scientists do to ease his confusion? Show him a tape of his assassination of course!  I know they need to explain why he is there, but showing a man his brains leaking with his wife screaming over his body is kind of dickish. At least they showed the gory part off panel.

Now the scientists tell Lincoln he was replaced with a clone body double. Kind of the same thing as yelling out psych! You didn’t really die, just your family and the whole nation thinks you did! Lincoln is overwhelmed by everything that has happened to him, and a snooty senator tells him to stop being such a pussy, the galaxy is counting on him.

Lincoln learns that changing the past is illegal because someone went back in time and gave Napoleon a tank and screwed up history.  Except for the fact that America still had a civil war and Lincoln still became president. For some reason we will have humanoid robots cook our dinners but we will still have to watch VHS tapes for our history lessons. Damn you Napoleon!

In a natural progression of tainted voting machines, it was decided that voters weren’t need anymore, computers decide the election. Except that people still carry campaign signs and they still call it an election. And if this were the case, they wouldn’t need Lincoln to run for president of the galaxy, they would need Bill Gates to hack the computers. Except that story wouldn’t be as awesome.

Of course Lincoln escapes. You would think maybe he would reprogram the robot, or at least shoot it with a laser beam. Instead, he uses the awesome power of algebra to find a secret tunnel. That will teach you kids to stay awake and study hard.

It’s an election fix. They needed the real Lincoln to talk on the vhs tapes to give to the super computer, then they could substitute the real Lincoln with a clone they could control. But if they could make a clone, why wouldn’t his tapes….Oh shit, I don’t know. But anyway, Lincoln pulled a good old fashioned 19th century switcharoo.

Once Abe got wind of the plot,  he reprogrammed his sexy robot maid even though he didn’t have so much as an electric light bulb in his day. Of course the scientists and bitchy senator were aliens. That explains their dickish behavior from earlier.


So, the aliens change back into humans, and decide to hide in lockers. Because that is what humans who totally aren’t aliens do. Of course Lincoln rigged the truth gun so they would look like aliens when the cops show up. Instead of finding a way home, Lincoln decides to stay and try stand up comedy.

After reading this story I don’t think Lincoln hunting vampires is bizarre at all. In fact, after reading this story I don’t think I’m legally sane anymore.

The President in Comic Books 4

This is the final section I am doing on the presidents in comic books. Before I move on to the modern comics, I want to take some time to post a couple of covers I overlooked earlier.




There seems to be some sort of fascination among comic book writers concerning Lincoln. It is interesting to note that the Lincoln Memorial is in a Greek Temple, and the Lincoln statue contained inside is something of a copy of the statue of Zeus.



There are a couple of imaginary tales where Superman is the president. YOu would think they would craft the story around one man having too much power, but it usually ends up a better world when Superman is comander in cheif. Since he was born on Krypton, I wonder how he dealt with the natural born citizen issue?



There have'nt been to many covers showing GWB, but I think this one suits him best. But isn't a hundred years just passing along the problem to someone else?



I don't have this issue, but I did thumb through it in the comic book store. GW was actually an alien in disguise, so that is why the Dragon is hitting him. This cover and the next one are sure to drive some mad with it's symbolism.



Does the Savage Dragon represent the galactic center of the Milky Way, or is he symbolic of an alien lizard race? I don't know.



Obama is fast becoming a comic book celebrity. I'm a bit wary of giving anyone a free pass just because the last guy was horrible.



Funny cover here. I feel like that as I try to find a way to pay my bills and keep my wife happy, all the while raising the kids. Maybe if I can get through some of my problems, it will help the world out just a little bit. Or maybe the world is out to get me. I just don't know, and I won't till I am able to wade through this mess.

The President in Comic Books Part 2

The forties and fifties were fairly straight laced as far as presidential appearances go, in the sixties things started to get a bit strange. DC Comics had Superman reveal his secret identity to JFK, and before the comic is published JFK is assassinated. DC Pulled the comic, but LBJ asked them to print it in full.



IMO, JFK was the last great American president. May he rest in peace.




After this, comic books get really weird with Abraham Lincoln.



Abe gets in an arm wrestling match with "Scalphunter".

Suppose some future generation invents the means of which to travel through time. Would they go back and try to save president Lincoln?



If such a feat were accomplished, time itself would be out of whack, causing news robots of the future to get a bit confused.



Robby the Robot is about 1107 years slow on the news. Of course, if I was flashed by an elongated man, I would probably be out of sorts too. Anyway, if such a cataclysm happened, I suppose we could send an actor back in time to take Lincoln's place.



So, what do we do with Lincoln in the future? I think we should just throw a space helmet on him and make him an ambassador to the United Federation of Planets or something.



In part three, we will take a look at fictional comic book presidents, as well as some leftover goodies from the seventies. Stay cool.

Best Uses of the President of the United States in a Comic Book

"I may speak softly, but I carry a sword and I have an army behind me!"




My guess is that it's Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.



There's nothing cuter than a young boy and his pet demon. Especially when the demon wants to be president. It figures that "Fox" would carry this.



Justice at last! The fired Judges get their revenge! I wonder what life will be like under their rule? Oh well, it can't be too much worse I guess.



I know I've used this one before, but hey, it's ABE LINCOLN IN A SPACESUIT! It deserves to get displayed more than once.

Best Uses of the Lincoln Memorial in a Comic Book

In this previous post I talked about something strange being up with the Lincoln Memorial. Now we are going to take a look at how it is portrayed in comics.

What kind of parent names their twins Yank and Doodle?



Is that the same dude Yank and Doodle knocked out? It is set in the same era. I wonder what the "secret that saved the world" is?



The "monumental menace" attacking the very symbol of America? Tsk Tsk.



A flesh and blood Lincoln sitting on his throne is a spacesuit?!?! That was certainly Unexpected.



In the far flung future of 1990, the last vestiges of government by medieval knights in red armor using shotguns. Lincoln's likeness is showing the same wound suffered by Kennedy. Issue #223, which is 322 backwards.

Ford Lincoln Mercury

If you've been on this planet for at least some of the time in the last 50 years, you've heard the marketing term Ford Lincoln Mercury. These are brand names of cars all owned by Ford motor company, and a lot of dealers carry all the brands, thus the term. I've decided to have some fun with synchromysticism and break down other meanings for the names in pulp culture.

In the film "The Postman", The future United States has been torn apart by civil war by the year 2013.(2012 Armageddon sync) A drifter finds a bag of mail and a dead postman. He proceeds to take the postman's uniform and grabs a bag of mail to try to trick a nearby town into giving him food. He tells the townsfolk a lie that the government has been restored, and the new president is named Richard Star-Key and he operates out of the Metrodome in Minnesota. This inspires a youth named "Ford Lincoln Mercury" to follow in his footsteps and thus the postal service is reborn.

In the beginning of the film, the hero of the story is walking alone with a donkey, and he is aptly kidnapped by a feudal general named Bethlehem. The hero is led to Bethlehem by a donkey, get it? I was watching a trailer for this film, and I was shocked to find a sync with the pyramids of Giza (piles of rocks) with the words "there is no order" superimposed over them! At 22 seconds.



If that frame looks familiar to you it should. Chances are you see something similar everyday. On the back of the one dollar bill at the base of the pyramid are the words Novus Ordo Seclorum, or new order of the ages.

Many take this to mean "New World Order". So put it all together and what does it mean? Here is an interpretation, By 2013 there will be "no order", thanks in part to the Postman, or one who makes "posts" on the Internet! Ha! THe Postman is played by Kevin Costner, who also played Jim Garrison, who was a real life DA who brought the Kennedy conspiracy to light.

The name of the company Ford is taken from the company's founder Henry Ford, who was the inventor of the assembly line and thus the founder of industry. In the book "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxly, written in 1932 set in 2540, humanity is controlled by genetic engineering and mind control. The god of this society, is named Ford! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brave_New_World

Ford's Theatre is where Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. It is interesting to not that the words Ford and Lincoln were often in the same news articles long before the invention of the automobile.



Gerald Ford served on the Warren Commission, which investigated the assasination of JFK, who was riding in a Lincoln when he was killed. So Lincoln was killed in Ford's theatre, and Kennedy was killed in a Lincoln, a brand owned by Ford! Gerald Ford is best known for pardoning Nixon for the Water-gate fiasco. Current Neo-cons Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld served in the Ford administration.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president of the United States, and also the first republican president. He served during the Civil war. Here is an interesting previous post on his memorial.
http://mercurysgarden.blogspot.com/2008/07/abraham-lincoln-and-temple-of-zeus.html

Lincoln is also the name of an American car company owned by Ford.

Mercury is the name of the Roman god of communication. He was the god of storytellers and mischief makers. The Staff of Mercury is two entwining snakes with an eagle on the top. It is used by the medical industry today.

DNA, the building blocks for human life very much resemble the staff of Mercury.

Mercury is also an element, a liquid metal. It was commonly used in thermometers as well as gold smelting and hat making. Hat makers in the 19th century often exhibited odd behavior, which is where the term "mad as a hatter" comes from. The odd behavior is believed to be due to exposure to mercury, which causes neurological disorders. It was and is used as a preservative in vaccines, and many parents believe it causes autism, which is a disease that severely effects a person's communication skills. Mercury the Roman god is the god of communication, Mercury the metal- destroys communication skills. Interesting.
In the early twentieth century, Lady Liberty appeared on dimes. These were also known as Mercury dimes because with the winged helmet they resembled the roman god Mercury.

Freddie Mercury was a rock singer of a band known as Queen. Unfortunately, he died of HIV complications in 1991.


Here is the message. WE are the champions of the world!!!

Abraham Lincoln and the Temple of Zeus

If someone were to force me to answer the question "who is your favorite president?", I would have to answer Abraham Lincoln. Through his efforts he was able to preserve the union at a time when it was most threatened. He holds the the distinction of being the first republican president.
The Lincoln monument is an awe inspiring site, and it is one of our national treasures. If Lincoln were able to see the monument to him, I think he would......I don't think he would like it very much at all.
Abraham Lincoln was a devout Christian, so why did they design his monument in the Greek Doric temple style? What would Lincoln say about the building which houses his statue having Paganistic overtures? Here is the Lincoln Memorial pictured below.

Here is a pic of what the Temple of Zeus looked like.

Ok, so Lincoln's monument looks like the Temple of Zeus. So what?

Let's take a look inside. The massive statue of Lincoln is sitting on a throne, and above his head are the words "In this Temple, as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the union, the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever."

It is a breathtaking and awe inspiring sight, but there are a couple of things that grabbed my attention. The first line of the Epithet reads "in this temple." Columbia Encyclopedia defines temple as follows.

"Temple, edifice or sometimes merely an enclosed area dedicated to the worship of a deity and the enshrinement of holy objects connected with such worship. The temple has been employed in most of the world's religions. Although remains of Egyptian temples of c.2000 B.C. show well-defined architectural forms, it seems likely that temples were hewed in living rock at a still earlier age: the cave temples of Egypt, India, China, and the Mediterranean basin may be viewed as later developments of such primitive shrines."

Since the monument was designed in the Greek Doric style, let's take a look at what the encyclopedia says about this style.

"The Dorian immigration (before 1000 B.C.) was a prelude to the building of Greek temples, at first made of timber and sun-dried brick. The superb stone and marble buildings on a defined floor plan were achieved in the middle of the 6th cent. B.C., although the most perfect examples, like the Parthenon (5th cent. B.C.), came later. The Greek temple customarily stood in a temenos, or sacred enclosure, along with accessory shrines, colonnades, and buildings housing the temple treasures. It was built not as a place for assembled worship but as the dwelling for the deity, whose colossal sculptured representation was placed in the naos, and illuminated by the daylight entering through the tall entrance portal. In larger temples, to support the roof lintels, two interior rows of columns divided the naos into nave and side aisles."

So this would lead you to believe Lincoln is represented as a deity. This can't be, because even though Lincoln was a great man, he was still just a man. But I wonder if there is something else going on here.
I also noticed that Lincoln is sitting on a throne. U.S. Presidents living or dead are not monarchs, they are elected public servants, so I am perplexed as to why one would be represented as a king. To portray one as a king sitting on his throne goes against the ideas this country was founded on, namely that it is a government by and for the people. Our government was created to serve the people, not the other way around.
The ancient Statue of Zeus is listed as one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. It sat inside the Temple of Zeus, and here is what it may have looked like.

As you can see, Zeus is also sitting on a throne in his temple, and the belief was that he resided in his temple in some form.

So they just copied the Temple of Zeus to construct the Lincoln Memorial right? Probably so, but it is also possible that the likeness of Lincoln on the throne is also a stand-in for Zeus.

If you want to visit the Lincoln Memorial, I encourage you to do so. It is a magnificent tribute to one of the great figures in American history. But as you look around just remember sometimes things have two meanings.