Monkey Business

Throughout comic book history, there have been a variety of monkeys featured on covers. Some of them are intriguing, and some are just downright hilarious.



But if Titano is a bad guy, shouldn't Bizzaro Titano be a good guy? I guess he is since he is doing Bizzaro Superman a favor, but he's killing him? My head hurts.



Sorry Supes, Titano is imaginary like yourself. Now stop whining about the Kryptonite vision and be happy like Bizzaro Superman.



It wasn't me! A guy broke in here and I was going after him! (Wouldn't a talking gorilla be more valuable than a stolen formula?)



I don't know what's funnier. A gorilla robbing and armored car, or a guy wearing a green turban with matching green pantyhose rushing out to fight it?



Of course, Thunda is not to be confused with Tarzan. Thunda has a bow and arrow, which makes him a completely different character, see?

Best use of a Gorilla in a Comic Book

Something about putting a gorilla in a comic book just seems to make it better.



"Great gorillas Batman! The Gorilla boss has broken his chains! Hey! What's our bat lines attached to?"



In todays episode, the character of Doc Strange will be played by Rod Blagojevich.



After winning big in poker, the gorilla realized he was naked and he bought some new clothes, shown in this next cover.



Even though he is good at poker, he still has no fashion sense.



He may be a good dancer, but what's that yellow liquid he's standing in? Gross!

Best Uses of Baseball in a Comic Book

Spring is now within two weeks, and soon we will be having cookouts while knocking down a few brews and listening to baseball on the radio. There is no conspiracy or good synchs in this post(more of that will be coming soon), just comic books and baseball.



The Sultan of Swat, the Colossus of Clout, the great Babe Ruth himself. Legend has it he was more than a man, but less than a god. His bat is said to have been carved from a tree that grew on the side of Mount Olympus itself. Sadly, the great Bambino succumbed to cancer in 1948.



"I'd like to sign Bumstead to a big contract, but he just has to big a mouth."



"Strike One!"



"Strike Two"



"Strike Three, you're out!" and so am I.

Best Uses of the Moon in a Comic Book

Dedroidify posted a video of Richard Hoagland, who talks briefly about how the Moon has a huge influence on events upon the Earth. I decided to check out it's influence on comic books. I don't choose these covers, they choose themselves.



So what if he likes climbing trees and hanging around with monkeys when there is a full moon? Leave him alone I say!



This was the last issue of Moon Knight. It looks like superheroing didn't work out so well for him.



In the early days of the Batman, the full moon appeared on almost every other cover.



Hey Pharoah, she was just passed out drunk and I was carrying her home. Swear. Besides, I didn't know she was your queen. Can you please call off your dogs now?



It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's some weird mutant hybrid of the two!

If I was President. Election Night Special

Presidents are elected on Tuesday, not Friday, but his video still rocks.

Best Uses of the 2008 presidential election in a comic book.



Issue #119. Ha!

Best Use of a White Rabbit in a Comic Book.

"White Rabbit" has become a very powerful symbol, so I wanted to take a look at some comics that feature a white rabbit.




Here we have a magician pulling a kid/white rabbit out of his hat. Pulling a rabbit out of a hat is symbolic for trying to make something out of nothing, something that has been resonating with me lately.



Usagi Yojimbo is not fooled by the fake white rabbit that is being crucified. The wolf who did the deed is laughing from the "bushes" Vultures are flying ove Usagi's head.



Whosoever shall defeat the looney tunes characters shall be king of all of England.



The rat tries to subdue the white rabbit, but the rabbit fights on.



here we have a mounted army following the white rabbit.

Best Uses of a Caveman in a Comic Book

There are tons of comics that show cavemen interacting with aliens. It's interesting the title of this comic is "Operation Peril" foreshadowing every military action after 1990 having the word "operation" as a suffix.



Turok Son of Stone was the story of two native Americans trapped in a land of dinosaurs and cavemen. The story takes place before Columbus sailed the ocean blue. I haven't read any of the comics, but native Americans are portrayed as the heroes and it would be interesting to check out.



Here, the son of Satan is menacing a hapless caveman. I would not be able to imagine how you could take a demon from the pit and make him look cute were it not for Hot Stuff.



Cavemen were often depicted as knuckle dragging brutes who drug their women along the ground by their hair. So to see this caveman dragging a talking woodpecker is disturbing.



In this one, the gender roles are reversed. I find it troubling that for some reason this cover reminds me of my marriage.

Best use of a God in a Comic Book

Instead of breaking it up into different mythologies, this time I included them all to see where the cards fell. How I do these is kind of hard to explain, but the covers chosen are random, and from the randomness we get a pattern.



Here we have longtime Conan foe Thoth-Amon. The name is taken form Egyptian deities Thoth and Amon. Thoth was the voice of the main god Ra, and is credited with giving Isis the spell needed to resurrect Osiris. Amon, or Amun, was the god of fertility, often depicted as having ram horns, as shown in this guise. It is interesting that Conan started as a pulp story, long before comics were popular. Thoth Amon first appeared in the short story, "the Phoenix and the Sword", published in 1932. The title of this issue is "King Conan", so I guess this means Schwarzenegger will be president someday.



Here, Hercules backs up the Hulk in a world war, the Angel, and ... hell I don't know, Ninja Chick and Wing Footed Girl are also in tow. Hercules is the most used god in comics, and he has also been portrayed by the current Governor of California i the film "Hercules in New York."



Atlas is here hanging out with Hercules. Actually, he is helping Hercules with the eleventh of the twelve labors. Hercules was supposed to take some golden apples that was protected by a 100 headed dragon. Hercules tricked the dimwitted Atlas into getting the apples for him, in return Herc held up the world while Atlas performed this task. Atlas was going to leave Hercules holding the bag, but Herc was able to trick him again. Currently, you can see Atlas holding up the world in front of Rockefeller Center in New York.



Here, Cupid's arrow is aiming at the center of a well, signaling the coming of the Age of Aquarius, which will be ruled by love and harmony or something like that. I'm not good at astrology.



Zeus is the king of the god's. Here he is hurling thunderbolts at Diana because he is pissed off. I'm not sure, but I think she refused to go out with him or something.

Best Uses of Water in a Comic Book

Many say that the age of Aquarius is upon us, so let's take a look at the comic book syncs.




This actually syncs quite well with Obama recently saying he was sent to Earth by his father Jor-El to save mankind. Superman tires to save the people about to get engulfed by Aquarius, but he is powerless because he is just a phantom. The kids also appear to be fraternal twins.




In this one, Nutsy Squirrel is trying to stop the age of Aquarius, while the Skull and Bones resonating pirate is distracted by something else. We can see that Nutsy is fighting a losing battle, and when the Age of Aquarius takes him, it's not going to go well.



Andy Panda is running for his life, trying to stay afloat, while the cocky chicken is well prepared. It doesn't matter, sooner or later they are both going to be engulfed.



Trudy is well prepared, she brought her surfboard and is riding the wave. however, she is oblivious to the U.F.O. in the sky above her. Notice in the upper left hand corner she is the capstone to the pyramid.



Here, we can see what Skull and Bones was looking for, Pieces the fish. Pieces is depicted as green, the color of Earth magic. And Woody, who stands at the top of the DNA ladder thinks he can stop the new age from coming.

Best Uses of a Financial Crisis in a Comic Book

By popular demand, here are the best uses of a financial crisis in a Comic Book!




Apparently, Richie Rich is quite a fan of pork.



Five gorgeous women sitting on a huge pile of cash. With enemies like this, who needs friends?



That's it Richie, keep feeding those banks.



Richie and Cadburry are getting the dollar yanked right out from underneath them.



Crap! It looks like that damn is about to break!

The Best Uses of Mother Earth in a Comic Book II

I really love the bizarre covers of the 50's and 60's. This one from 1962 is kind of eerie. An office looks out his window and sees a tower being destroyed. Gasping, he drops the phone. Ok, so a tiny Earth sends a spaceship that is disproportionate in size to destroy skyscrapers on a much larger Earth. Where did they come up with this stuff?



Recycle and conserve or Hulk smash!!!



That's right. Screw the Earth! It's overrated anyway.



I actually owned this one when I was a kid. In one story the Phantom Stranger is the wandering Jew, in another he is an angel who would not choose sides when Lucifer rebelled, which led to him being cast down to Earth and getting his wings pulled off.



I love superhero team ups! In this issue, the Harlot of Babylon, Chtullu, and Atlas team up to invade the Earth! While the Dark Tower stands in the left hand corner looking on.